The divorce decree is a beginning, not an ending, for parents. For the next several years, you and your child’s other parent will share school events, birthday parties, medical decisions and countless weekend handoffs. For New Braunfels and Comal County families, that might mean exchanges at a halfway point on I-35, juggling school calendars across two districts or coordinating summer weeks around river season. This guide offers practical tools for co-parenting that keep your children steady and your legal position strong.
Know What Your Order Says
Your final order is the rulebook. Texas orders typically cover two things:
- Conservatorship: the rights and duties of each parent, such as making educational and medical decisions and designating the child’s primary residence. Texas presumes appointing both parents as joint managing conservators is in the child’s best interest, but rights can still be divided. See conservatorship.
- Possession and access: the schedule for when the child is with each parent, often based on the standard possession order or the expanded standard possession order.
Read your order closely and keep a copy handy. Many disputes come from parents who remember the order differently than it is written. Pay attention to holidays, summer notice deadlines, pickup and drop-off locations and any geographic restriction.
Choose a Co-Parenting Style That Fits
Not every family can co-parent the same way.
| Approach | What it looks like | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Cooperative co-parenting | Flexible, regular communication, occasional joint events | Parents who get along reasonably well |
| Structured co-parenting | Polite, scheduled communication with clear boundaries | Most families, especially early on |
| Parallel parenting | Minimal contact, communication in writing, each home runs independently | High-conflict situations |
Many families start structured and become more cooperative with time. If conflict is high, parallel parenting is a valid choice that protects children from ongoing tension.
Communication Rules That Work
Keep It Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm
Treat co-parenting communication like a business relationship. Say what needs saying, keep a neutral tone and stop.
Instead of: “You’re late AGAIN. You never think about anyone but yourself.” Try: “Pickup was set for 6:00. Please let me know if Friday’s time needs to change.”
Use Writing for Important Matters
Schedule changes, medical issues and expenses should be in writing. That creates a record and reduces misunderstandings.
Consider a Co-Parenting App
Many families use a dedicated co-parenting app with a shared calendar, expense tracking and message logs that cannot be edited after sending. Look for features that matter to your family, such as reimbursement requests or the ability to share records with a lawyer or mediator. Some courts order the use of these tools in high-conflict cases.
Set Response Expectations
Agree on reasonable response times, such as 24 hours for non-urgent matters and a phone call for emergencies. This prevents a flood of follow-up messages.
Never Use the Children as Messengers
Children should not carry notes, money or information between homes. It places them in the middle and invites conflict.
Making Exchanges Smooth
Exchanges are where tension often peaks.
- Be on time. Chronic lateness is a common complaint in enforcement cases.
- Pick neutral ground if needed. A public, well-lit location works for some families. Some choose a spot between New Braunfels and San Antonio or Austin to split the drive.
- Use school as the exchange point when your order allows. It avoids face-to-face contact entirely.
- Keep it short. Hug, say goodbye and go. Exchanges are not the time to discuss problems.
- Pack consistently. Keep basics such as toothbrushes and pajamas at both homes, and send only what moves with the child, like medications, homework and a favorite item.
Sharing Expenses
Child support covers many ordinary costs, but orders usually address additional items such as uninsured medical expenses separately. Activity costs, school trips and summer camp may or may not be covered in your order.
- Track every shared expense with receipts.
- Submit reimbursement requests promptly and in the way your order requires.
- Pay your share promptly, even if you are frustrated about something else.
For how support works, see how child support is calculated and medical and dental support.
Keep Consistency Across Two Homes
Children do best when the rules are similar in both homes. Try to align on:
- Bedtimes and screen time
- Homework expectations
- Discipline approaches
- Major decisions such as a first phone or driving
Perfect consistency is not realistic, and each parent has the right to run their own household. Aim for the big things.
Handling Holidays and Special Days
Holidays can create both joy and friction. Review your order’s holiday schedule in advance, write the dates on a shared calendar early in the year and be generous about small things, like letting the child call the other parent on their birthday. See our holiday schedule page for how Texas orders typically handle holidays.
When Circumstances Change
Life changes. A new job, a remarriage, a move across town or a child’s changing needs can make an old schedule unworkable. Informal agreements can help in the short term, but for lasting changes, a formal modification protects both parents. Texas allows modification when there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances.
When Co-Parenting Is Not Working
If the other parent repeatedly ignores the order, endangers the child or uses the children against you:
- Keep a calm, factual log with dates and details.
- Save written communications.
- Do not retaliate by withholding the children or support.
- Talk with a lawyer about enforcement, modification or supervised visitation.
Taking Care of Yourself
Co-parenting is easier when you have support of your own. Counseling, a parenting class or a support group can help you manage stress and keep the focus on the children.
Co-Parenting Help From a Comal County Family Lawyer
Whether you need a clearer order, help with enforcement or a modification that fits your family’s new reality, our team helps New Braunfels and Comal County parents put workable plans in place. Call (830) 302-4071 for a free consultation with New Braunfels Family Law. We speak Spanish.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can we change the schedule without going back to court?
Many Texas possession orders allow parents to agree on different times, and the standard order applies when they cannot agree. Informal changes are not enforceable like a court order, though, so put agreements in writing and consider a formal modification for lasting changes.
What if the other parent will not follow the order?
Keep a detailed record of missed exchanges or other violations, and avoid self-help such as withholding the children in return. A lawyer can explain enforcement options, which may include a motion for contempt. See our page on custody enforcement.
Is parallel parenting a legal term in Texas?
No. Parallel parenting is a practical approach, not a statute. It describes high-conflict families where parents interact as little as possible and each runs their own household, often with a detailed order to limit disputes.
Do I have to let the other parent know about doctor visits?
Texas orders typically give both conservators certain rights to information about the child’s health, education and welfare, and many orders require parents to share that information. Check the exact wording of your order.
Should we use a co-parenting app?
Many families find that a dedicated app reduces conflict by keeping schedules, expenses and messages in one place with timestamps. Some courts order their use in high-conflict cases. Choose one both parents can access and actually use.
Last reviewed November 13, 2026. General information only, not legal advice.